“Your family doesn’t fall apart because of stress—it falls apart because of silence.” Stress expert Elke Van Hoof on informal caregiving, parentification, and stress in family life.
How do you keep your family together when burnout and stress creep in? Stress expert Elke Van Hoof explains how burnout never affects just the individual—it drags the whole family down with it. Partners unknowingly shift from a romantic relationship to the role of caregiver. You become the driver, the planner, the emotional buffer, and the one who keeps the family running. The relationship shifts from an equal partnership to a caregiver-patient dynamic, and intimacy and spontaneity come under pressure. The focus shifts from living together to just getting by together.
She presents KOPP research on children of parents with mental health issues. Children quickly take on responsibility, withdraw, or care too much for their parents. This is called parentification: when a child cares more for the parent than the other way around. The entire family goes into survival mode. Informal caregivers keep quiet at work, but that double burden takes its toll. Offering flexibility, showing appreciation for those who work double shifts, and acknowledging that invisible role can make a world of difference.
